FOR THE RECORD

I've never really opened up to everyone about this. Only to some of my closest friends. Some don't even know the slightest thing about how things went between me and him, since I never really wanted to talk about it. I have avoided making the break-up a really big issue because there were just things that i want to remain private. But I've just noticed that eversince, this break-up have never been silenced. People still ask me how we are right now, are we in good terms or not, people still tease me at the mention of his name, or place where he's from.

I mean, I've gotten over it, over him. So for the record, this is to explain everything (my side of the story), to formally end what has ended more than 6 mos. ago.

It was just ironic how during the last time we saw each other, he never wanted me to say 'goodbye' for the reason that we'd find ourselves in each others arms sometime soon. I guess I should've just blurted out that word, it wouldn't have made any difference anyway.

A lot of my friends, and (his friends, maybe) felt like we we're bound to burn out. I myself felt like I had it coming a month earlier before we broke up, but I just never knew a simple misunderstanding could end something I thought, knew and felt was beautiful. And what's quite sad is that, up until now, to be completely honest I never really had any idea why he just gave up. He told me he needed time to find himself, he owned up to his mistakes and said other things which sounded like a subtle way of saying that "it's not you, it's me" crap. There was no clarity as to whether we were just gonna cool off, or really end things. He never replied to any of my messages from then on, avoided conversations, and I was helplessly hoping he'd come around, but I never got an answer. So the silence just prompted me to assume he wanted out. And that was it. No closure whatsoever, just assumptions.

But now, I have already given up on trying to find out why. Because I've tried, and it left me hoping that we can still try and fix things. I've done my fair share of reaching out, but it seemed like nothing I did could at least get back the friendship we once started.

I can't deny that I still remember being so in love with him. Words just can't describe how much I loved him. For that period of time, he owned my heart. And as devastated as I was after we broke up, there was nothing else to do but move on.

And so, I have deleted and removed every means of contacting him. All of his messages, the countless i love yous, and the message that made me fall for him. FB, twitter, CP number (unintentionally because my ancient cellfone with it's stored memory died.. hehe), all gone. I guess, it's for the best.

Now that everything's been said and done. I just wish I wont forget most if not everything that I've learned from all the things I have gone through with him.

"No regrets, just LOVE".