AND WHEN IT RAINS

..you always find an escape. just running away from all of the ones you love,
from everything.

and escape i have. I'm pretty much done with being sad. Over what happened days ago, i'm just not convinced at all that there's still a point in staying. You don't need me anymore. I know you don't miss a thing, you're not fooling me again. The next time you say something, mean it. Okay?

Goodbye.

I'M JUST NOT THAT NUMB YET

3 days after..

i did what i had to do. i pushed him away.
one moment he was asking how i was, the next "cold mo ata sakin, sige, bye..."
pero after he said bye.. my heart just wasn't able to take it. I totally lost it and tried to stop him from leaving. by the end of our 5 minute conversation, i still ended up saying "i'm sorry". Ugh!

paramore-ish - "that's what you get when you let your heart win" and i got it bad.

now i feel like i'm the one on the losing end. i felt totally defeated awhile ago. how i wish i could write everything here to give you a clear idea of what happened pero i just can't. not now at least.

a lot of things may have changed between us. burning bridges is not my intention here. i'm just at the point of trying not to cross it to get to him or letting him pass to get to me.
i'm just not that numb yet.

why do we like to hurt so much???

I CAN'T TAKE THIS BAD HABIT NO MORE

I told myself that I would make some changes but the more I change there's one thing that remains the same...

I can't seem to shake you.You seem to really have a hold on me. And everytime that we break up, we turn around and make up. Well not literally, but it seems that everytime i try to avoid, stay away, push you away.. You seem to have your way with me. I don't know how long this could go. I tried, really, but you still made your way back. I was almost at the brink of being completely honest with you, but you didn't give me that opportunity. Instead, you kept on making me think of the possibilities. I just don't know how to quit you as of the moment. You are so making it hard for me.

This can't go on now. I gotta move on now. I think, i've taken all i can take. I feel like i deserve your honesty. I don't want to play around anymore, if that's the only way you're going to take me seriously. I've just had enough of you, trying to allure me with blinding words. I'm pretty sure you have a considerable idea of how i think of you, you said it yourself. I wish for honesty, no matter how hard it might hurt me.

It's not the fact that I don't love you no more but I gotta break this bad habit. I can't take this bad habit no more. I should end this cycle. I still don't know your part of the story, but i don't think i still have something left in me to listen. I don't think having all the means of contacting you would help. I'm just tired of constantly expecting something from you. With that being said, i don't want anything to do with you anymore. I wish you well.

why are we so hardheaded when we're in love???