HE'S NOT SORRY

It's over. I broke up with him.
He was just not worth keeping.

Regrets, yes, i have them. I thought that maybe it was partly my fault. I decided to be in a relationship a little too soon. He liked me, I liked him, and we both just clicked. Maybe I got so consumed with the feeling of finally having someone to call mine that I just didn't mind to get to know him a little more. He just decided for the both of us to be in that relationship, and stupid me obliged.

Days passed, and we both hung out and I got to know more of him. He was funny, simple, super sweet but extremely 'baduy'. I mean come on, let's face it. When you take a guy out on a karaoke joint, and asks you to sing... "Natutulog Ba Ang Diyos" with conviction, how can that not wreak of absolute 'baduyness'?! Let's just say that if he was some other random guy, maybe it would've felt really awkward to be with someone who's completely my polar opposite. But no, I completely tolerated his 'baduyness'. Haha! Another thing which bothered me was, he was quite the PDA kind of guy. As what he told me, he wanted to let people around us know that we were an item and I am just not used to such public display of affection. Like for example, he steals kisses 'on the lips' every now and then even when we're in an extremely crowded place and it kinda worried me for the reason that some 'people', like friends of my parents or relatives might see us and report! That would mean only one thing, forced eviction!

Well anyways, considering those, I still liked him. I still wanted to be in what seemed to be an instant relationship. But of course, doubts started kicking in. Call me paranoid, but after awhile, after it sunk in that I was already taken, I felt like I needed some assurance. Assurance that we were both in this together, that noone else can come into the picture and ruin it. And I just didn't get it from him. I asked him lots of times, if I was the only one, and he tells me the same thing, that I was the only one, that he loves me, and blah blah blah. I tried to take his word but I just felt something was absolutely wrong. I asked my friends if I was being overly dramatic about it, to the point of being paranoid. Some agreed and told me to stop asking him for assurance, that maybe I was just adjusting to it. Some warned me to be careful, that a lot of guys just can't be trusted anymore, but I should just give it some time and see where it goes. And I followed the latter advice.

And so I gave it some time, and what convinced me even more was that when I was browsing channels on cable, I caught up with this movie on HBO and one character from that movie spoke something about not giving up easily on love. Argh! Talk about major false 'sign'. Well anyways, so still I didn't give up on us but I just knew that this time around I should not let my guard down and be cautious.

Days afterward, he and I were not seeing each other anymore, not because of this issue, but because both of us were busy (at least that was what he told me). He was trying to look for work while I was busy with my review. I did exert extra effort, I called him up just to know if he's doing fine, ask him how he was doing, tell him I love him, blah blah blah. For awhile, I thought we were alright, but days gone and still we did not see each other. Another thing, for those days, I felt like I was the only one reaching out to him. Then the day came when we were supposed to see each other, he was even the one who set the time and place. I remember that night pretty well, it was Earth Hour night, we we're supposed to meet up on the same place where we first met, but to my dismay, he didn't show up! I called him up and all he could say was that he got tired and just woke up at guess what, 6pm! I got so frustrated and what got me mad most was he wasn't even sorry about it.

And so, that started the downfall for us. I forgave him for that, and yes, I didn't let go. I held on to whatever it was I thought I could still save. But still, he made no effort and so one day I confronted him on the phone. I just blurted out all there was to tell him, what I felt, what's been bothering me, what's the real score. And then it just came out, I told him that if he has somebody else, let's just end this and get things over with, and he just replied 'sorry po'. That was the last draw! He was sorry he had an affair. He was sorry for being such a lying, cheating, son of a gun! And that was it, as calmly as I could, I told him to take care.

I just knew from the start he was inconsistent, as what I kept telling my friends whenever they ask me about him. But the thing was, I held on to someone not worth my time. Oh well, lesson learned. I'm just so happy that I know, I'm not the one at fault here. He chose to go that direction and now, honestly, I really don't care.

So to all you parasite b*tches out there, you can go ahead and feed on my leftover. And to my friends, feel free to punch, kick, stab him the moment you see him around. Haha! Kiddin'! But if you still want to do it, I really won't give a damn! hahaha!

This is just me, saying I'm not on the losing end here. So if he thinks he got the upper hand, he should guess again! Because I assure him, that by the moment we see each other again, I will absolutely make sure that he will feel completely out of my league. Take that 'BHE'!