FOREVER. A friend told me once that it's crazy to dream of having forever with the person you're in a relationship with. I begged to differ. Yes, I believe that each one of us deserve our fairytale endings, our happy ever afters. I'm a sap. I hold on to the slightest chance of being eternally happy with that right person. The problem is, how can you tell if that person is the one for you?
Well, for me, we can't. But, we can always try to be that perfect someone. Right?
I mean, we don't necessarily have to be literally perfect, that would be totally ridiculous and untrue. But we can always try to be sincere, be there for that person when he's down for the time being, when he's tired, stressed out, alone. We can always stay loyal, patient and understanding. We can always make that person feel like he's the only guy who holds your heart.
Well anyways, that's just how i see things. And that what I want things to be between us. I don't expect him to be the same for me but that's who I want to be for him.
Call me crazy, martyr, trying too hard, but that's me when in love. I try my best to make things work, even if the whole world will continue saying how things just couldn't work between us. I will still be that person who'll never quit and back down without fighting for that someone worth my heart. I will always be that someone who'll never tire of going the extra mile just to make that person happy.
Sometimes, though, things become painful. Extremely painful. When you feel like all your efforts are underappreciated and you're misunderstood at times. When you do the slightest mistake and he gets mad at you and not talk to you for an entire day. Sakit. When you feel like things are just not the same as it was back when things were fresh and both of you just can't get enough of each other. Hehe. I can just smile at the thought of how things used to be.
And then there are fears. I fear that anytime, he can just leave me. That anytime, he can just take me for granted and leave me for someone else. I fear that I just love him too much.
But then again, I realized that I love him too much just too walk away from the love beacuse of the pain and the fears. I know that those are just part of being in the relationship. All I need to do, is to remind myself of the reasons why I'm doing all of this for him. To remind myself of all the things that makes me happy when I am with him.
Just those three words. Everytime he says 'I love you', I just melt. The thing is, everytime he tells me those three beautiful words, I believe him. I leave no room for doubts just love. “The little things you do to me are taking over” I want to let him know how happy he makes me. I just love how he reminds me to eat to my heart’s content, to sleep early so I can get plenty of rest to cope with stress from work. How he tells me to constantly take care of myself. He makes me feel special, tells me I’m his favorite, that he’s proud of me, that he loves me very much. I can go on but if I will, I might not be able to finish this blog entry. Bottomline is, he's the one who keeps me at my happiest.
Goi, you make me happy.. and I love you so much for it.
I must admit, this hasn't been easy for the two of us. But like you always tell me, we have to be strong. I will forever hold on to what we have.
Knowing you was, is and always will be the best thing that happened in my life so far. I love you Goi.
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